An opinion piece by Christin Young
I was sixteen, and it was my first solo trip taking the train up and back from Wollongong to Sydney. It’s roughly an hour-and-a-half trip each way and this was meant to be the proud start of my teenage freedom. I remember I wore my favourite set of black overall shorts, and proudly stepped onto the carriage bound for the next city north. I was so excited!
Unfortunately, I was yet to learn that the journey would be memorable for a completely different reason. To this day, I still can’t recall why I was going up to Sydney on my own in the first place.
Halfway through the returning trip, I had wet myself. I remember feeling a mixture of embarrassment and shame, panicking that the train filled with commuters coming home from work knew about my shameful accident.
In my teenage mind, incontinence was an issue that happened to people my grandmother's age. I had never heard of a teenager not being able to control their bladder before.
Unnecessary stigma around incontinence at such an age prevents young people from reaching out, leaving shame to continue to fester. While I grappled with this condition, I was also diagnosed with a movement disorder and went to hospital for pneumonia. My mental health was starting to take a nosedive. It was a hard time. Looking back now, I realise how strong of a kid I was in handling a bombardment of medical issues, all at the one time.
Since that day on the train I’d been relying on menstrual products to keep my secret shame contained. The only people who knew about my problems were my mother, best friends, and a select few family members. I’d grown to harbour so much contempt for myself that I allowed my medical issues to have an extreme affect on my life.
Reaching out for the necessary support teenagers need from their peers became difficult, because it meant owning up to what I was going through. And I was afraid of what people would think. Would they laugh? Would they not want to be my friend anymore?
I learnt to tolerate my ‘problem’. Pads and period underwear allowed me to go about my day without too many issues. However, I denied myself activities that lacked access to bathrooms, sanitary products and a place to safely dispose of them. I also denied myself the ability to have a sexual relationship in my early 20s - terrified of what a partner would think when they inevitably found out.
To this day I still deny myself the opportunity of relationships, putting it off until I finally ‘fix’ the problem.
Slowly, I began to understand which movements and activities triggered leakages, plus foods or drinks that may make them worse. That was all well and good, but lacking an official diagnosis left a large question mark hanging above my head - even after years of medication, Botox, stress tests, ultrasounds, and other treatments.
Today, I’m 24 years old. I still struggle with the embarrassment of my condition, but I’m slowly understanding I’m not on my own. I wish, as a younger girl, I knew that I wasn’t alone with incontinence within my age group, and there are many ways to live my life to its fullest despite it.
To my younger self, I would say: despite how hard of a toll these issues can be on your body and mind, there will be better days. Never be ashamed of the things you don’t have control over. There’s too much life out there to live, it’s not worth denying yourself it.
I’m hopeful that one day I’ll be able to effectively treat my incontinence, but until then, I plan to keep enjoying life the best I can.
Christin Young is a passionate, Sydney-based chronic illness and disability advocate represented by Champion Health Agency.
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Christin Young
Christin Young is a passionate, Sydney-based chronic illness and disability advocate represented by Champion Health Agency.